another 180.

it's amazing how good of a mood i was in... for most of the day.

i ascribe to be a person of truth. i've learned that truth is useless without love.. to my my own naive surprise, lack of truth makes me mad. (i know some of you must be chuckling about the truth bit, but i am serious). i think we use deception because we think we are protecting ourselves and especially those that we interact with..

i mean to be honest to me, but i deceive myself quite a bit. i think it's one of my defensive structures.. in this past week, i've also discovered that i can be paralyzed or extremely productive (i'm still not quite understanding the source of it, but i'm still discovering). but at the same time, i think i've learned a lot about my "friends" and what they really think.. whether or not they speak of it.. and it unnerves me and in the last couple of minutes, it's been burning in my mind.

oh, by the way, i can be very petty and judgemental. as if you didn't know

whew.

am i crazy?




See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away


[matt luey & shuling, with their swords]